Hi All - Good Morning! I wanted to send out a quick update to let you know that Jason's procedure to have his esophagus stretched has been moved to this Thursday at 11:30am vs. our original plan on Wednesday.
We've been through enough scopes at this point to recognize that if they have you scheduled on one floor vs. another, that means they will either use anesthesia or something else to try to knock you out. After the 1st scope that Jas had at Univ of MD, and them using Benadryl (I think that's what it was) to try to knock him out, we learned very quickly that we will never do that again! It didn't work 100% on Jas, therefore he "came to" halfway through the scope which was awful for both him and our Dr.! And when it did finally take effect, it took him about 4 hours to "come to" fully so that we could come home. So, Praise God that Jas recognized that they scheduled him on the non-anesthesia floor, so we could get that rescheduled before we found out the hard way! THANK YOU GOD!
We also want to send a BIG THANKS to you for your prayers since our last post! It's been amazing to truly feel your prayers and for the weight of what we were feeling to continue to be lifted off our shoulders and onto our mighty God's! And, I have to say that while God continues to love on Jas, he has also been very specifically loving on me as well. There have been some thoughts I've had this past week about oh it would be so nice to do .... or have... but I tell you I never discussed these thoughts with anyone - not a soul! I never even thought much more about these thoughts myself, because that's all they were - nice to haves but not true needs from my perspective. Low and behold, God just blew me away this week when those nice to have thoughts came true and on a scale ten fold! Once again, God didn't have to do that for me as he has my love regardless, but He continues to remind me over and over that he hears and knows every single thought and emotion that crosses my mind and wanted me to be lavishly loved on. I'm feeling like his princess this week for sure : ) Thanks to everyone that was part of the surprises - you know who you are! Love each and every one of you!
One other thing I wanted to mention was about something I worked on while we were in the hospital for Jas' surgery. As many of you recall, we've had scripture posted up throughout our house as "wallpaper" since this past fall to constantly be bathed in God's promises and truths throughout this 2nd run with cancer. Thanks to my dear friend Kat for the encouragement to do this! Well, I took all of our scripture cards into the hospital with us, typed them all up into a document and now can share with anyone who is interested or knows of someone who could benefit from them. I have them both in a Word Doc and a pdf file. The problem is that I'm unable to attach to the blog. So, if you would like me to email the document to you, please send me an email at megan_wiles@yahoo.com and I would gladly send your way. We've definitely found it absolutely necessary to set up a hedge of protection around our house to keep God in the forefront of our minds and the evil one OUT! We would love to help others by sharing this also! Nothing fancy, but something that is free and straight from the Bible that is full of comfort.
In the meantime, Taylor continues to keep us busy : ) We're working hard on getting her "big girl" room ready for when she turns 3 at the beginning of April. Not knowing what the end of March may hold for us, we're wanting to get as far along as we can on her room so she can graduate to being a big girl and into her new bedroom. Thanks to those who are helping with the details along the way - we couldn't have even began to imagine doing this without your help - YOU ROCK! We've hyped this up for a solid year now, so this girl is ready to be "Big" lol! Here's a funny for you all...the other day she looked at me as we were wrapping gifts for friends of ours and she said, "Mommy, since my favorite color is pink, can I have ALL my presents on my birthday in pink?" Oh, how refreshing it is for that to be her biggest worry after everything we've been through this past year. That brought a huge smile to my face!
We'll keep you posted on how Thursday goes! Praying hard that Jas is able to go back to eating food again without having to blend everything up to prevent food from getting stuck. And, we continue to practice patience as we wait for God to reveal his plan for Jas on next steps.
With Much Love In His Healing Name,
Meg
2/24/12 - The beginning of a long road to recovery
I know, I know, it has been way too long since we have gotten a blog post out there. I have been reminded daily by my lovely wife that it's been too long, by the number of emails that continue to fill her inbox asking how I am doing. I can't thank you all enough for that caring curiosity and support you all continue to bestow upon us. I sound like a broken record, but we are truly blessed in these circumstances and continue to feel the Holy Spirit upon us. Thank you for your prayers, support and encouragement!
Our return home from the hospital was so surreal. First it felt great to walk into the house after staring at the white washed walls of the hospital for 3 weeks. We walked into the house full of surprises. Decorations, cards, a fridge stocked full of food (which was completely empty previously) and meals lined up yet again for us for a handful of weeks, what a blessing! In addition both of our moms were here with us to help with the transition back home and the reuniting of Taylor. We had many tears shed as God continues to take our breath away with all of the details he has worked out on our behalf. Truly jaw dropping stories he has given us to share his love with others! Thank you all for your help as you continue to help us build our testimony about God's perfect love as we experience it in action.
One thing we still need your help with is constant prayer for clarity on these final steps of proposed medical treatment that is being recommended. So in the last blog post, I discussed how our next big decision was whether we were going to go through "mop-up" chemo, knowing there was persistent cancer present in the esophagus and lymph nodes that was removed. The big challenge we are facing in this decision is that we will not know whether or not there is still any cancer in my body before moving forward with chemo (as the next round of scans will not take place until May at the earliest). There are no stats to support whether or not the chemo will work if there is any cancer still remaining. On the flip side, if we proceed with chemo...and we all know what it does to you...nasty stuff without us ever knowing if it was worth it. With my immune system already down, that's another whack to really set me back with no proven success.
So that decision still remains in front of us, as our oncologist has given us a few more weeks to make a decision. When the oncologist saw me, she said I wasn't ready for chemo at that time based on my appearance. It was good to hear her say that, but also a little deflating, as I felt in my mind I had been doing pretty well. As she pointed out, she hadn't seen me over the past 6 weeks, so to her I still appeared a bit gaunt, pale and needing some more weight back on. So in the end we'll go back for a follow-up appointment on Thursday, March 15 to let them know our decision.
We would also like to ask for your prayers for the weight of everything that we are going through to remain lifted off our shoulders and placed on God's. He has carried this weight (just like Jesus carried the cross) for us up to this point and we know he will continue to do so if we allow Him to. Honestly, this past week has been one of the heaviest/hardest over the last year. I know that may seem odd to many, however we've had quite a bit of sad news these past couple weeks in regards to our "cancer compadres" that had us a bit rattled going into the meeting with our surgeon and oncologist. Then as we headed into our appointment, we felt we'd come to a decision about not doing the mop-up chemo. However after talking through things with our Doctors, and with the recent learnings of our friends progression/recurrence, we have decided to think through it for another 3 weeks and in order to draw even closer to God to ask for his continued guidance on what He wants us to do.
One thing that our oncologist shared with us is that if the cancer were to return, then they would no longer consider my cancer as curable, but would then move to containment. As at this point, I still have a chance of being declared cured of cancer. So they really wanted us to think through our decision so we would have no regrets in the future. That had smacked us (esp. Megs) right back into reality, as we fully always understand the potential outcome here, but have truly felt God is working something much bigger in me. But I am confident no matter what we decide to do or how this turns out, His plan is much more glorious and greater than anyone can imagine. At the end of the day, we know that God is the ultimate Healer. I have said from the beginning that I believe He can heal by miracle and/or medicine and that regardless of what the medical community says, we can always put our hope in Him to heal and if is His will, I will be healed. Ultimately, we desire to be obedient to God and take whatever steps He wants us to. We are praying that He continues to reveal His will to us as clearly as He has through all of our other decisions this past year!
For now, each day is a push to get my self stronger and healthier than the last. The biggest thing has that been a challenge is to get in the desired amount of calories in my body, as I continue to strive to eat healthy and get off of my feeding tube. Oh yeah, I still have a chain, just no ball, but I only have to hook it up at night to pump in some extra calories. So it hasn't been too restrictive allowing me to be as active as I want to be during the day. When we head back to our next Dr's appointment in 3 weeks, they will either leave the feeding tube in for awhile if I do choose to do chemo or they will take it out if I opt out of chemo and my weight has continued to show progress.
One minor problem that has come up over the last few days is I am having trouble swallowing food again. After speaking with the Dr's office, it sounds like it might be a more common occurrence than not. I guess what happens is the junction where the esophagus and stomach connect, the scar tissue as it heals is very stiff and won't flex like the rest of the new tube. So over the last week it's become progressively worse and now even soups aren't sliding down like they used to and I'm "spittying up" (as Taylor calls it) daily if not at each meal as I try to swallow. To combat this, they will go in next Wednesday, February 29th and dilate or stretch that junction to allow for more normal passage of food as it continues to heal. This will be an outpatient procedure at the U of M, however I will need to be put under yet again for it. Over time, the scar tissue will become more flexible and like normal tissue, though stretching may have to occur multiple times before it happens naturally. Again, it's frustrating, because I felt like I was eating so well last week and now I have regressed, but we pray and ask for ya'lls prayers that this is all it is and that there are not bigger issues here.
So it broke both Megs and my hearts today, as I was having trouble swallowing lunch, Megs was calling the Dr and Taylor pointedly said "Mommy, I can't stay at home by myself" as if we are going to go to the hospital and leave her at home alone. Ever since she returned from being away almost month, she's been really scared about us dropping her off at places and not coming back to get her. And now she thinks we're going to leave her by herself! Needless to say, we are working hard every day to regain her trust in daddy and mommy and our love for her. Turns out that she is aware of much more than we ever gave her credit for. She is keeping us on our toes...daily...hourly...by the minute. What a bright spot she has been each day for us. Don't get me wrong, she'll test your nerves, but to be back together and enjoying time together as a family has been really nice and so therapeutic for all 3 of us. We are doing some things as a family that are typical fun things we like to do together which has been refreshing: picnics, playgrounds, and pj days.
As I try and stay busy both mentally and physically, I continue my daily walk, limiting myself to 30 minutes so I don't burn too many calories. Also, Megs and I have set to completing one task daily around the house to feel like we have accomplished something. It's been nice to be able to be outside these last few days (in the 60s for those who aren't in MD), and Megan was a peach yesterday and washed both cars for us. Oh, Taylor helped as well, or at least till she was soaked, bored with helping and then wanted to ride her bike and play with the neighborhood kids.
Also, here's a belated Valentine's video for you all from Taylor. You'll have to go to wilestrials.blogspot.com to view the video, as it won't play from the pushed email.
Oh can't forget, Megs and I celebrated our 10 yr Anniversary in February. While we never would have expected to be where we are on our tin/aluminum anniversary (and no ladies she isn't getting a new diamond either), we recognize that going through this together will strengthen our marriage by allowing our bond to grow even stronger as we experience what God has in store for us.
Let's see, what else...oh here's a big positive that came out of last Friday's appointment. I was released to drive. What a sense of freedom again! With the narcotics I was taking for pain, they wouldn't let me drive. It was a struggle to have to be chauffeured around for the month...let's just say I am not the easiest passenger to be toting around. Now I am completely off the narcotics and I am trying to wean myself off ibuprofen, which will still take a bit, though I notice the pain and irritation decreasing weekly. They also removed my staples for the abdomen incision and stitches from the two chest tubes, which has really helped with the irritation that I have in my chest and abs. So as things continue to heal on the inside, I feel more flexibility coming back, which has in-turn helped me be able to push myself and get back to the new normal.
So as of now, we continue to pour ourselves into the Word and seek clarity on the next steps with chemo and move forward seeking God's guidance in all we do.
Thank you for your prayers and I will make sure it doesn't take 4 weeks again to get a post out there.
Trust in Him
God Bless
Jason
 |
| Back home with daddy |
One thing we still need your help with is constant prayer for clarity on these final steps of proposed medical treatment that is being recommended. So in the last blog post, I discussed how our next big decision was whether we were going to go through "mop-up" chemo, knowing there was persistent cancer present in the esophagus and lymph nodes that was removed. The big challenge we are facing in this decision is that we will not know whether or not there is still any cancer in my body before moving forward with chemo (as the next round of scans will not take place until May at the earliest). There are no stats to support whether or not the chemo will work if there is any cancer still remaining. On the flip side, if we proceed with chemo...and we all know what it does to you...nasty stuff without us ever knowing if it was worth it. With my immune system already down, that's another whack to really set me back with no proven success.
So that decision still remains in front of us, as our oncologist has given us a few more weeks to make a decision. When the oncologist saw me, she said I wasn't ready for chemo at that time based on my appearance. It was good to hear her say that, but also a little deflating, as I felt in my mind I had been doing pretty well. As she pointed out, she hadn't seen me over the past 6 weeks, so to her I still appeared a bit gaunt, pale and needing some more weight back on. So in the end we'll go back for a follow-up appointment on Thursday, March 15 to let them know our decision.
We would also like to ask for your prayers for the weight of everything that we are going through to remain lifted off our shoulders and placed on God's. He has carried this weight (just like Jesus carried the cross) for us up to this point and we know he will continue to do so if we allow Him to. Honestly, this past week has been one of the heaviest/hardest over the last year. I know that may seem odd to many, however we've had quite a bit of sad news these past couple weeks in regards to our "cancer compadres" that had us a bit rattled going into the meeting with our surgeon and oncologist. Then as we headed into our appointment, we felt we'd come to a decision about not doing the mop-up chemo. However after talking through things with our Doctors, and with the recent learnings of our friends progression/recurrence, we have decided to think through it for another 3 weeks and in order to draw even closer to God to ask for his continued guidance on what He wants us to do.
One thing that our oncologist shared with us is that if the cancer were to return, then they would no longer consider my cancer as curable, but would then move to containment. As at this point, I still have a chance of being declared cured of cancer. So they really wanted us to think through our decision so we would have no regrets in the future. That had smacked us (esp. Megs) right back into reality, as we fully always understand the potential outcome here, but have truly felt God is working something much bigger in me. But I am confident no matter what we decide to do or how this turns out, His plan is much more glorious and greater than anyone can imagine. At the end of the day, we know that God is the ultimate Healer. I have said from the beginning that I believe He can heal by miracle and/or medicine and that regardless of what the medical community says, we can always put our hope in Him to heal and if is His will, I will be healed. Ultimately, we desire to be obedient to God and take whatever steps He wants us to. We are praying that He continues to reveal His will to us as clearly as He has through all of our other decisions this past year!
For now, each day is a push to get my self stronger and healthier than the last. The biggest thing has that been a challenge is to get in the desired amount of calories in my body, as I continue to strive to eat healthy and get off of my feeding tube. Oh yeah, I still have a chain, just no ball, but I only have to hook it up at night to pump in some extra calories. So it hasn't been too restrictive allowing me to be as active as I want to be during the day. When we head back to our next Dr's appointment in 3 weeks, they will either leave the feeding tube in for awhile if I do choose to do chemo or they will take it out if I opt out of chemo and my weight has continued to show progress.
One minor problem that has come up over the last few days is I am having trouble swallowing food again. After speaking with the Dr's office, it sounds like it might be a more common occurrence than not. I guess what happens is the junction where the esophagus and stomach connect, the scar tissue as it heals is very stiff and won't flex like the rest of the new tube. So over the last week it's become progressively worse and now even soups aren't sliding down like they used to and I'm "spittying up" (as Taylor calls it) daily if not at each meal as I try to swallow. To combat this, they will go in next Wednesday, February 29th and dilate or stretch that junction to allow for more normal passage of food as it continues to heal. This will be an outpatient procedure at the U of M, however I will need to be put under yet again for it. Over time, the scar tissue will become more flexible and like normal tissue, though stretching may have to occur multiple times before it happens naturally. Again, it's frustrating, because I felt like I was eating so well last week and now I have regressed, but we pray and ask for ya'lls prayers that this is all it is and that there are not bigger issues here.
 |
| Picnic with mommy - fun times |
As I try and stay busy both mentally and physically, I continue my daily walk, limiting myself to 30 minutes so I don't burn too many calories. Also, Megs and I have set to completing one task daily around the house to feel like we have accomplished something. It's been nice to be able to be outside these last few days (in the 60s for those who aren't in MD), and Megan was a peach yesterday and washed both cars for us. Oh, Taylor helped as well, or at least till she was soaked, bored with helping and then wanted to ride her bike and play with the neighborhood kids.
 |
| Making homemade heart pretzels for Valentine's Day |
Also, here's a belated Valentine's video for you all from Taylor. You'll have to go to wilestrials.blogspot.com to view the video, as it won't play from the pushed email.
Oh can't forget, Megs and I celebrated our 10 yr Anniversary in February. While we never would have expected to be where we are on our tin/aluminum anniversary (and no ladies she isn't getting a new diamond either), we recognize that going through this together will strengthen our marriage by allowing our bond to grow even stronger as we experience what God has in store for us.
Let's see, what else...oh here's a big positive that came out of last Friday's appointment. I was released to drive. What a sense of freedom again! With the narcotics I was taking for pain, they wouldn't let me drive. It was a struggle to have to be chauffeured around for the month...let's just say I am not the easiest passenger to be toting around. Now I am completely off the narcotics and I am trying to wean myself off ibuprofen, which will still take a bit, though I notice the pain and irritation decreasing weekly. They also removed my staples for the abdomen incision and stitches from the two chest tubes, which has really helped with the irritation that I have in my chest and abs. So as things continue to heal on the inside, I feel more flexibility coming back, which has in-turn helped me be able to push myself and get back to the new normal.
So as of now, we continue to pour ourselves into the Word and seek clarity on the next steps with chemo and move forward seeking God's guidance in all we do.
Thank you for your prayers and I will make sure it doesn't take 4 weeks again to get a post out there.
Trust in Him
God Bless
Jason
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