12/25/11 - A Very Merry Christmas Gift!

Good Morning Everyone - First and foremost - MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!  We wanted to share our Christmas Card below with each of you!

We have some FANTASTIC news to share with you all and we pray it brings each of you an extra special Christmas gift as you read our update in the same way it has us!  After meeting with the Univ of MD Team this past Friday, we learned that Jason's tumor in his esophagus is GONE!  Let us say that again bc it sounds so WONDERFUL - GONE!!!  PRAISES TO GOD!  Also, the cancer has not spread to any other areas of Jas's body - yet another HALLELUJAH - PRAISE GOD!  Are you all grinning from ear to ear with us right now?

Additionally, we received information on the lymph nodes that had shown cancer activity when treatment initially began.  Unfortunately, the biopsy from the scope and the PET were not able to distinguish whether the activity that was showing in the lymph nodes is a result of the radiation effects or if it's cancer activity.  So, we were told that this would remain an unknown unless Jas opted to have surgery and at the point of removing the lymph nodes, they would be tested to have a more definitive answer.

Now that we have the BIG news out there, we thought many of you would be interested to hear the details of our amazing week from the beginning : )  So... we asked for you to pray the No Fear Prayer for us and wow were the effects of your prayers on our behalf AMAZING!  We truly were blanketed with peace and God spoke to us and protected us in so many ways to not allow the devil 1 second to sneak in. We know that God is so much bigger than cancer and the only "C" that we want to have rule our lives is Christ and not cancer!

So we spent the entire day on Tuesday at the hospital while Jason started the day off with his PET and then ended the day with a scope.  Very interesting what we learned from Dr. Greenwald (gastroenterologist) who performed Jas' scope, which is the same Dr. we met with a few months ago to confirm Jas' diagnosis.  After completing the scope, we asked Dr. Greenwald to share with us what he would do in Jas' situation.  As a reminder, we've been praying for clarity on whether or not Jas should proceed with surgery if it's an option and it's been a tough tough decision.  Keep in mind at that point of the week we had just found out that the tumor was gone (told as soon as the scope was complete) but that they more than likely wouldn't be able to tell us about the lymph nodes and whether or not they were showing signs of cancer activity.  What Dr. Greenwald shared with us was quite eye opener. To boil it down - the 2 best tools they have to monitor esophageal cancer are the scope and PET.  The scope is 30% accurate which really surprised us!  He shared that if they detect cancer with the scope then it's 100% accurate.  However, if they say there's no sign of cancer - it's actually only 30% accurate.  WOW!  That stat sure make us cautious as we prepared for Friday!  Also, he shared that the PET scan only shows sign of cancer activity larger than 1 cm.  Holy Cow!  Again, not something we had heard of before.  Another piece of information is that this type of cancer has a 50% recurrent rate in the esophagus in individuals who do not have the surgery.  So... needless to say, he strongly recommended having the surgery done next to put Jas' best foot forward to try to eliminate the cancer completely if it were still there and just not showing up on these 2 tools.  Also, the other factor is that we don't and won't know whether or not there's still cancer in the lymph nodes.  So, we continued to pray for clarity and for God to prepare our hearts for whatever the news would be on Friday.  Still not knowing if the cancer had spread elsewhere at that point.

So fast forward to Thursday night.  From 4pm to bedtime, God was so full of surprises to prepare us for our big day on Friday.  We started by opening our mail on Thursday, which was full of such generous gifts from so many generous and gracious hearts out there!  God continues to love on us in amazing ways by softening so many hearts around us!  THANK YOU to so many - you know who you are : )  Then we skyped with our dear friends in Morocco, ending the call with a prayer together.  Then a family in our church whom Jas had never even met before, and I had only met the wife once before, swung by and brought a Christmas gift for Taylor and a knock your socks off gift for Jas & I.  You see, we had continued to be in constant prayer over whether or not Jas should have the surgery and for God's clarity.  And when we opened the family's card to us, HOLY COW did God make it clear.  Reminder, we would not know until the next morning whether or not surgery was an option for sure.  However, God softened the hearts of this family and because they were obedient to Him, they allowed God to clearly answer our prayer request through them.  You see, not only was the gift an incredibly generous financial gift, it was also a unique amount that no one else had ever gifted to us (and we've had a lot of generous givers out there - THANKS to each an every one of you!).  So unique in fact that the amount of money that they decided upon ended up being the amount needed to cover what we will have to co-pay for Jason's surgery.  When I saw the number I instantly knew - this was straight from God answering so clearly!  Talk about knocking your socks off!  I had done research about a month ago, knowing that the surgery that Jas may have the opportunity to go through would require him to be in the hospital a minimum of 2 weeks.  So that number of what we would need to pay out of pocket was still fresh in my mind.  God once again BLEW US AWAY with how he answered us so clearly and in such a tenderhearted way - completely providing for our financial needs also. WOW WOW WOW!  So cool to get to experience his blessings in this way!

So, the night continues : )  Told you he kept us busy until bedtime!  As Jas and I are in tears, hugging each other after opening the gift mentioned above, our doorbell rings.  On the front lawn stands my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group that I had the pleasure of being part of these past 2 years, singing a number of Christmas carols to us with their families.  AMAZING!  So incredibly touching that God arranged them to pull together in this way the night when we needed it the most and so good to see them all - as it's been awhile that we've been out of our "typical routine of life."  And, to top that off, they had been reaching out to us in a variety of ways all week, ending on Christmas Eve with an amazingly generous gift to help out as well.  GOD IS SO GOOD!  Once again, we are in absolute AWE! 

After hugging them and heading back into the house, we had our last visitors arrive.  Bless their hearts they showed up with bags full of groceries from an organic market with an awesome variety foods on the alkaline side that they knew we were now eating, along with an extra generous gift.  WOW WOW WOW!   Blown away yet again!  After saying our goodbyes and then getting Taylor to bed, I ended my night with a call to my dear friend Kat.  She had an incredibly powerful story to share with me about how God had provided an amazing gift to her in a way that she knew only he could have done for her.  It was so cool to recap our day with her to reaffirm how God had provided for both of us in ways that we had never expected him to.  So very cool!  Needless to say, a lot of tears were shed this week!

Then Friday morning comes.  We arrive at the hospital and Jas was scheduled to have a pulmonary and vascular test first and then we were to meet with our clinic team at 11am to have the results of the PET read.  So after checking in first thing in the morning, they take us back to a room and in walks our thoracic surgeon.  Oh my!  Not good!  Jas and I didn't even look at each other at that point bc we both thought to ourselves "Uh Oh, this can't be good news!"  We were both independently thinking, Dr. Burrows came in first to tell us the bad news and that surgery must not be an option now, or he would have stuck to the schedule of coming in at 11am.  Thank goodness our gut reactions were wrong!  Dr. Burrows shared the PET and scope results and I'll be honest, Jas and I just kept waiting for something to be said about surgery not being an option, but it never happened PRAISE GOD!  So, we talked with Dr. Burrows about 2 hours discussing the surgery and all the questions that we had for him.  Bless his heart he is a very patient man and thank goodness, as this is a HUGE surgery that Jas will be undergoing and you want to be as educated as you can going into it!  So, we finished our day at the hospital with multiple tests that needed to be completed before surgery and set the surgery date for Monday, January 9th.

As for surgery, we truly think God was intentional with keeping the information on the lymph nodes unknown so it would be easier (although still a very big decision) to decide to do the surgery.   Also, how He provided for us financially through other believers with a very specific amount that covers the surgery - pretty clear!  We continue to pray for peace on this decision to move forward with surgery!  The surgery will be an 8 to 10 hour procedure on January 9th and Jason will be in the hospital for 2 weeks minimum.  Yes, this is a major surgery - comparable to an open heart surgery.  It will be a tough first half of the year for us next year, but we continue to look at this as Short Term Pain for the Long Term Gain.  And, we know without a doubt that God will be with us every step of the way and provide for every single need that we have - as he has already through these 2 cancer trials this year.  We truly do feel that surgery is Jas' best chance for a esophageal cancer free future! 

I'll be honest, since the news on Friday it's been a HUGE CELEBRATION!  What joy we've had making phone calls, telling people in person and typing up this blog to share our wonderful wonderful news and how God has answered so many of our prayers!  Many tears of joy and thanksgiving have been shed this week!  To be able to be with our Church Family Saturday evening for our Christmas Eve Service - it was heavenly to be with so many that have just bathed us in God's love!  And, we are so excited that we still are able to travel back to Ohio to see our friends and family there to celebrate together our news before surgery.

I'll tell you one thing, this will be a Christmas that we will NEVER EVER forget and I can't even begin to imagine God topping this Christmas in the future!  What a perfect Christmas gift God has given us this year!

PS...for you readers who get updates to the blog via email, make sure you visit the actual blog (wilestrials.blogspot.com) this week to check out our new pics on the website. We took family photos during our vacation this Oct at the beach, a week before Jason's treatment started.  Have we told you about how God's timing has been so perfect through all this? haha

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to each and every one of you!
We can't THANK YOU enough for your prayers, love, support, encouragement, etc! 
We hope we have the opportunity to serve back to each of you in the way you have for us!

With Much Love and In His Healing Name, 

Meg

12/19/11 - Believe Big

Well, it's been a few weeks, but things continue to improve daily.  Each day is better than the last and I continue to build back my strength after they beat me down with the chemo and radiation.  I still feel blessed that my side effects weren't as bad as they could have been. So right now I am trying to get as much strength rebuilt as I can, knowing that there is a possibility of them knocking me down again with starting soon.

I feel like I am acting more like myself again, which is such a huge answered prayer.  I know this because I am starting to have trouble sitting still for long and feel I need to constantly be working on something.  For those who have been on chemo or seen the side effects, its crazy how that junk will just straight up mess you up. It has definitely made me think hard about how I might proceed with additional chemo in the future if presented with a recommendation/option to undergo more infusion. So thankfully Christmas is right around the corner and Megs has plenty of small projects to keep my mind focused and busy and feel as though I am accomplishing something each day as I continues to build strength back. Additionally, my "quirkiness" with food is getting so much better these days also.  There are only a handful of foods that are still really tough for me to think about eating - based on what I ate that first chemo day.  Though I seem to be at a stable weight right now (almost 30lbs less than when this all started) my appetite is back but I can't eat as much as much as I used to, which is not a bad thing. We continue to get more comfortable daily with the new diet, and our bodies have definitely gotten used to it, so much so that we pulled out a pre-made meal out of the freezer the other night, one that Megs had made long before this all started, and WOW, what it did to us. It's not like it was bad, cause we wouldn't have attempted to eat it in the first place, but with the dairy, salt and other ingredients we have weaned ourselves off of, it just tore us up that night. We both just sat there and felt like crap for the rest of the evening. The crazy thing is, the next day I was craving a big pile of veggies. Definitely hasn't taken our body's long to adjust and I know that has been a big part of the healing process.

Taylor continues to adjust to having daddy around more now and has stopped the mean comments that she was throwing out at me the first month or two.  She has also adjusted to some of the new food concoctions we throw at her. I say some, because she see us eating something like a "green smoothie" or salad dressing we made and will want some, but you can tell a two year olds palette just isn't quite what ours is by the faces she makes, hysterical. But she's been a trooper through all this and prays daily for God to fight those boo-boos in daddy's body!

So as we continue to wait patiently and lean on God for peace until we hear results this Friday, December 23.  Whatever the outcome next week, we are looking forward to celebrating Christmas here in Maryland and then heading to Ohio to enjoy some time surrounded by family and friends.

Since there isn't much more to report today, other than to ask for your continued prayers (see the end of this post for a specific prayer request for this week), I thought this might be a good opportunity to share a great organization geared at taking the fear out of a cancer diagnosis - Believe Big. It's a great resource for those who have been just diagnosed or for someone who wants to help someone out and allows you to control cancer and not let cancer control you.  www.believebig.org  I know a lot of people have passed our blog out to others, especially those going through cancer, and we feel this organization is another great resource to help in their journeys.

The Cancer Compadres: Kat, Jas & Terri

Knowing how much one cancer has changed our focus on life, the second cancer allowed us to refine it that much more.  Megan and I had been searching for a organization that aligned with our passion and beliefs and one that we could get involved and put or energy behind, and we found all that in BelieveBig.  We highly recommend that you visit their webpage and pass this out to anyone going through or who has gone through cancer.  I feel with all the research I have done, you can access a lot of great information quickly and easily.

Jimmy & Ivelisse - Founders of BelieveBig

We had heard of BelieveBig, through our friend and partner in cancer Kat who has been friends with the organization founders long before anyone was diagnosed with cancer.  Its amazing how God's plan works out at times.  Over a month ago we attended BelieveBig's kickoff party and first ever fundraiser.  What an honor and how exciting to be part of this organization.  We included a couple photos from that special night.  We have also posted a permanent link on our blog in the resource area as a quick access point if anyone would like to refer to it in the future.

From Left to Right: Dan (Kat's friend), Kat, Dr. Hinderberger (Jas & Kat's Natropath), Jas & Meg

Additionally, we'll make sure we let you all know what we hear this week and we continue to thank you all for your prayers, encouragement and support!

For this week, we would like to ask for your help in praying the specific prayer below for Meg & I called the No Fear Prayer, a resource via Believe Big.  We have a big week ahead of us and feel that this will help tremendously!  Thank you!

JASON & MEGAN WILL HAVE NO FEAR PRAYER

Jason & Megan will be strong and courageous. They will not be terrified; they will not be discouraged. For you, my Lord, are with them wherever they go. (Joshua 1:9)  No one will be able to stand up against them all the days of their life. As you were with Moses – and Joshua – I know you are with them. You will never fail Jason & Megan and you will never leave them. Never. (Joshua 1:5) They will meditate on your Word and will follow you alone. (Joshua 1:8)

You have chosen Jason and have not rejected him. So he will not fear for you are with him. Jason and Megan will not be dismayed, for you are their God. You will strengthen Jason and Megan and help them; you will uphold them with your righteous right hand….For you are the Lord, my God, who takes hold of their right hand and says “Do not be afraid; I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:9-13)

We praise you because Jason is fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) For you created Jason and formed him.  Jason and Megan will not be afraid for you have redeemed Jason. You have called Jason by name and he is yours. When Jason passes through the waters, you will be with him; and when Jason passes through the rivers, they will not sweep over him. When Jason walks through the fire, he will not be burned; the flames will not set him ablaze. For you are the Lord their God, the Holy One of Israel, their Savior. (Isaiah 43:1-3)

Jason and Megan will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day. (Psalm 91:5) And even though Jason walks through the valley of the shadow of death, he will fear no evil, for you are with him. Your rod and your staff, they comfort Jason and Megan. (Psalm 23:4) For God did not give Jason and Megan a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7) And Jason and Megan are more than a conqueror through him who loved them. For Jason and Megan are convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate them from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus their Lord. (Romans 8:36-39)


God Bless & With Much Love,
Jas & Meg

12/3/11 - When God Calls Us Out of Our Comfort Zone - Meg's Testimony

Hi Everyone - This one is from Meg : ) I know I've mentioned a couple times that I would send out more details on our Church's Women's Retreat that I spoke at with our "cancer com-padres" (smile) Kat & Terri back on November 5th, 2011. I'll be honest, this is going to be a long one as it involves my testimony and also includes some videos that were shared at the conference. Also, I have to thank Jas for continuing to nudge me along this past month to follow through on doing this, as it's been quite a humbling experience!

Let me start back a couple months ago. Jas and I were at church and they were reminding our congregation of the upcoming Women's Retreat. Jas nudged me in the side and asked if I was planning on going. I'll be honest, at that point having known that Jas would be in mid treatment for esophageal cancer, that was the last thing I wanted to do was to leave him and Taylor yet another time and have another weekend of trying to find coverage for both while I would be gone. So I shook my head and told him the timing just wasn't right this year. However, God had another plan : ) After church was dismissed I was in the lobby talking to my dear friend Kat (stage 4 lung cancer) and we were approached by a lady in our church who was an integral part of planning for the Women's Retreat. Low and behold she asked us to speak at the retreat. OH MY! I have to say my first reaction to having to go up on stage is always PLEASE NO, UGGGHHH! But God had prepared me through my HR Career over the past 10 years to having to get over that initial reaction to then muster up the courage to do it! So, Kat immediately responded, "YES! Anyway I can be used by God - I'm in." I then smiled nervously and agreed to help as well. Wheew, God so often calls us to do things out of our comfort zone and our areas of strength so that we rely on him with everything we have and so the glory can ONLY be given to HIM in the end!

So picture this... we had around 125 women at our Women's Retreat. We were the 3 musketeers, in this thing together, my friends Kat, Terri & I. What a special memory that I will hold dear to my heart to experience something like this with 2 other women that we have grown so close to through this cancer journey.

During our segment, we opened by showing videos of each of our stories separately, bringing the audience up to speed on our trials we were currently enduring. The good news is, I have these videos to share with you and are directly below! For those of you who are reading this via an automatic email, you'll need to visit our blog directly to view the videos at wilestrials.blogspot.com. Just be prepared as they are tear jerkers! One thing I will prepare you for is that they asked each of us the prognosis question. While all 3 of us jumped out of our chairs with an emphatic NO initially, when they first told us what they'd be taping and asking this question at the end, they did further clarify why it was necessary. They didn't feel that the attendees at the conference would truly understand how God has provided for us in so many AMAZING ways, unless they knew how serious the prognosis of all 3 cancers truly were.  So, here they are!

So after the videos ended, the 3 of us went on stage and spoke about the areas that we felt God wanted us to focus on. The sad news is that the video camera they had set up to tape this part with died as soon as we started talking : ( So we don't have that portion to share with you all. I guess God wanted that part to be an intimate experience for those at the Women's Retreat. However, I did want to share with you my testimony and what I spoke about that day.

Before I do, I must share one more bit of detail. I always felt like my "Testimony" was a bit of a bore to be honest. I've been a Christian the majority of my life and hadn't had any trials remotely close to the ones this year. However, I just want to thank my cousin Mark for reminding me that God is and continues to build my testimony right here and right now through Jason's 2 cancer trials this year! That gentle reminder made me smile, knowing that was God speaking to me through him! 

Here's what I covered at the Retreat:  

Question: How has God prepared me for what I’m currently going through today, which I view as the largest trial I’ve faced in my life so far?

 Answer: 

It’s been such a blessing in preparing for the retreat, to look back and revisit all of the ways God has prepared me for what I’m going through today.

He has helped me…

• Learn about cancer through others
• Learn how to glorify Him through cancer, through others
• Get my priorities straight.  By that I mean getting God to move up to #1 rank my life, not #2 or #3 and he helped me do this through events/circumstances he exposed me to.

First of all, God knows that my natural preference in learning is to watch and learn through others first before experiencing/doing myself. Having been the 2nd born of my family, my older sister would laugh and completely agree.  God provided me the opportunity to learn more about cancer and how to glorify Him through others that he placed in our lives, prior to Jason being diagnosed with cancer.

Also, God knew my heart and that he was not ranked #1 in my life until the last handful of years. So God exposed me to circumstances that ultimately let him move up in rank - from #3 to #1 in my life. By doing this he equipped me to be best prepared for our current battle with cancer. Let me rewind back 7 years.  

Jason’s Dad – Our first family battle with cancer began over 7 years ago when Jason’s dad was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer. We learned a lot about cancer and treatment options through this experience, yet experienced much heartbreak as a result of his father’s passing. Over the past handful of years I have recognized that I wasn’t fully healed yet from that event and only viewed cancer as having a devastating ending.

The Move/God's Rank In My Life - Shortly after Jason’s father passed away, we felt called by God to move to Maryland and to be honest, we had no idea why. Jas is a geologist, so we always thought if we ever moved it would be out west. Plus almost all of our family was in Ohio. But after 4+ years of job searching with dead ends, Jason had a job opportunity of a lifetime pop up in the DC area with doors wide open. It was bittersweet for us as it required us to move away from our loved ones, however we knew that when God calls and we follow – he will PROVIDE!  Looking back now, I see that God had my heart as top priority.  I had been relying so heavily on Jason & our family in Ohio that I wasn’t allowing God to be my #1, but was placing him 2nd or even sometimes 3rd in priority. I gave so many things priority over God over the past many years ranging from my husband/family, career and financial security.

So, we made the move to Frederick. We didn’t know a soul. So of course I clung even closer to the one person I did know – my husband. Through this move I continued to let Jason be my “#1 Rock”, my career #2 and God my #3. So what happened next? God already took us away from family, and now he allowed Jason’s work to take him away from me for months at a time. Wheew! That really brought me to my knees!  So I threw myself into my career, the one thing that was still around that continued to be ranked above God.  After realizing that regardless of how hard I worked or how successful I was in my career, I still would be "off in my ranking" until God became my #1.  Finally I turned to God giving him the time and attention he was wanting from me and deserved, allowing him to truly become #1 in my life.

People God Brought Into My Life:

• Terri - God placed Terri in my life next, for me to have my first exposure to someone living through a cancer trial, while continuing to glorify God.  God allowed me to learn from a distance with Terri.  While I didn’t know Terri very well when I first learned of her diagnosis, I have enjoyed learning more about her through her “cruise updates” and then truly being able to help each other as friends as we are currently running the cancer battle together now. She taught us the importance of communicating and sharing updates with others in an honest and genuine way while continuing on with a positive attitude.  She has been an awesome support and I truly have cherished our friendship through all this! Terri has helped the laughter continue for us through this trial, provided such insightful points of views while allowing me to be real with her about my thoughts/emotions. So with Terri, I learned through her by watching from a distance initially, but more intimately today! What a blessing!! 

• Kat – Now with Kat, God smacked me right in the front line in her battle w/ cancer. We were friends prior to either of our families having cancer, however God was so intentional with how involved he intended for us to be with the Hargest family when she was diagnosed with lung cancer. I had the honor of being able to help with her children the day/week of her diagnosis and be there for her family. Kat challenged me, as a sister in Christ, that continued to teach me how God can use you through cancer.  She started the trend of writing scripture on her tumor to witness to others.  She helped us put into action how to guard our minds and hearts with scripture – wallpapering our homes with it! So helpful and important!! She taught me to instantly give credit to God, when people try to give you the credit for being strong, brave, inspiring, etc. Also, God had sent both families to the same exact orthopedic oncologist at Sinai so we could tag team the office together in our goal to share God with others. And most recently to Kat helped us get in with her Natropath who wasn’t accepting new patients. We even had the privilege of experiencing a miracle of Kat’s with the Dr. Office & Kat . So exciting!  What an inspiration she is and an amazing friend!

May 2011 - Sarcoma - Jason's 1st Cancer - So back to Jason’s dad. God knew that the word cancer was still raw enough to us, having experienced a devastating outcome with Jason’s dad, that we still weren’t exactly where he needed us to be to glorify him through it the way that he wanted to. So he allowed us to go through a smaller “trial run” with cancer this past May – Jason’s sarcoma . At the time, it was very scary hearing the word cancer, however looking back – it was a much easier prognosis compared to what we are dealing with now. The Dr. had shared that he would more than likely live a long life with all his limbs. I remember having a conversation with Terri at that time and her looking at me and saying, “It’s going to be ok! I wish I had that prognosis!”

Job Loss - Also, during the course of Jas’ treatment, my part time job that I’d been working for 2+ years was eliminated. This was bittersweet at the time, as this was one small piece that I still had in my life that was for me.  However, it was such a HUGE blessing, as it allowed me to be eligible for unemployment to help us financially, while focusing all of my time on Jason and our family. An answered prayer request after 2 years of praying – God took the decision out of my hands and made it for me!  That is itself was such a tenderhearted gesture for me not to have to make the decision come September with the next round of cancer.

September 2011 - Esophageal Cancer - Jason's 2nd Cancer - Pretty much immediately after Jason’s surgery he began to have symptoms of heart burn and food getting caught in the middle of his chest when swallowing. So this is where we circle back to Jason’s dad yet again. He had the same symptoms, and bc they were all too familiar to us, we had them looked into very quickly. Most people wouldn’t think much about those symptoms other than take a handful of tums. Because we had already experienced esophageal cancer and the symptoms through Jas’ dad, we were able to catch it a stage earlier than his dad's.

I cannot say enough about how tenderhearted and loving God is! He helped prepare me in so many ways, so I could be exactly where I needed to be when we heard the scariest news of our lives! I know that if God hadn’t become #1 in my life, I would not have had the strength to be the wife to Jason that I needed to be for him and the mom to our 2.5 year old daughter. Phil 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!


And, let me loop back to our question of Why Maryland God? ...when we were called to move here almost 6 years ago.  It's so very clear now.  Jas has been in a job that he absolutely loves, we are in a state that has 2 of the top 6 treatment centers for esophageal cancer only 1 hour away, as well being 1 hour away from an amazing hospital that specializes in Sarcoma cancers that services the whole Northeast.  And, I don't know if I ever would have let God move up to #1 without making the move in all honesty.

Question: Who Does God Say I Am?  
Answer: God says I am weak, but through him I am strong!  “For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  2 Cor. 12:10

Question: Who Do I Say God Is? 
Answer:
My view of God have not waivered one bit through this, other than to fall even more in love with him!

1. MY ROCK, My #1 – Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; He is the only one that will be with me 100% of the time and can fulfill 100% of my needs. No human can do that. With God as my #1, he allows me to love and serve my husband, family and others the way that he calls me to. I’m clinging to the rock! I'm just so thankful that God helped me get my priorities straight finally or I would have experienced complete devastation.

2. TRUTH – Psalm 119:160 “All God’s words are TRUE,” is a bible verse that my 2.5 yr daughter was taught in her bible school program this fall. I always knew that his words were true, but never in my life have I experienced so many of his promises/truths being fulfilled in such a condensed time frame. To have God’s word to rely on as the ONLY truth and to see his truths in action has been MIND BLOWING!  We continue to be blown away daily by how God is ful-filling his promises to us! It has been such an AWESOME thing to experience it!

3. LOVE & PROVIDER - Our family, friends & people we’ve never met before in our lives have loved on us in a way that you could never even imagine was possible! We are so thankful and in absolute awe, as we know that God is loving us through those here on earth! It just brings us to tears as we think about the outpouring of love we have experienced through our 2 cancer trials.

• Help with watching our daughter with so many appointments
• Financial support (checks and gift cards being sent – some even for the same amount of the bill that comes in the mail that day) 
• Gifts (varying with such creativity and an answer to such specific prayer requests that only God knew about ) 
• Encouragement: emails, texts, blog posts, cards with encouraging scriptures 
• PRAYER! 
• We have been blessed in so many ways, that each chemo day (and we've been through 3 of 6) Jas has spent the majority of his time writing thank you cards. That's at least 6 hours each treatment! Talk about keeping u positive! God is so good! 
• Vacation - God also perfectly timed for us to be on vacation both times of diagnosis, the week before Jason’s treatments began. These were planned well before we ever even knew of Jason having either cancer. Our jaws are dropping daily as God answers our prayers in ways we never even imagined through softening the hearts of those around us. We could talk for a full day about all the ways we have been blessed! 
• God loves us so very much and we’ve been able to gain an even better understanding of just how much by his incredibly personalized approach to preparing us for this trial of esophageal cancer.

4. HOPE- "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (ROM 15:13). He gives us Hope when the world is telling us otherwise. These trials that we are experiencing are ALL part of his perfect plan. We just need to trust him that his way is the BEST!!! He has given us such a renewed sense of hope by bringing 2 young men into our lives who have had esophageal cancer, are alive today, and treated by the same team. Looking back to Jason’s father, not 1 single person did we know of who was an esophageal cancer survivor. We continue to hear of more and more people who are esophageal cancer survivors PRAISE GOD!

5. PEACE – Phil 4:7 – And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Jas and I have been blanketed with peace during the scariest time of our lives! Only God, can provide peace in a time like this.  Honestly, I never thought in a million years that anyone could say that they are at peace in a time like this, but God has blessed us tremendously in this area!

6. JOY – Only God/The Holy Spirit can provides us with joy during a time like this. We have been able to experience pure joy during this trial as we learn of others being drawn to Christ through us, allowing God to use us through this!

God is the PERFECT PLANNER and this trial today is all part of HIS perfect plan!

SUMMARY VERSE - Romans 8:28 - And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

As we ended our time with the ladies, the 3 of us read the excerpt from A Bend in the Road by David Jeremiah.

My child, I have a message for you today, let Me whisper it in your ear, that it may coat with glory any storm clouds which may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread. It is short--only five words--but let them sink into your inmost soul, use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head.
THIS THING IS FROM ME

Thanks for taking the time to read through my testimony, and I pray that God softens your heart in some way through this. And please feel free to share our blog with others to continue to spread the Word and share in our prayer requests!

With Much Love In His Healing Name,

Meg